Hmmm...

12 Steps

2011-12-15T19:54:00.001-05:00

A week or so ago, our senior pastor Dave Workman mentioned the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in his weekend message. The timing was fascinating to me. My faith has largely grown out of my experience with AA, and recently I felt a prompting to go back and explore the roots of that faith once again. As a result, about a week before Dave's message, I began reading what's known in AA as the "Big Book" which outlines the 12 Step program.

The 12 steps:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

One of the things AA taught me is that living a lifestyle based on eminently spiritual principles is ultimately extremely practical. Prior to AA, my concept of spirituality was that it was "out there," "other-worldly," and "unpractical." The people I knew who were into spirituality also typically adhered to strange diets, dressed funny, and/or used it as a cover for dabbling in hallucinogenics. AA was the first place that I learned spirituality could be approached in a relatively practical manner, within a program that promised results if approached with willingness and honesty. It provided an on-ramp for me to a spiritual journey that continues to grow more wonderful every year.

It is no surprise to me that the 12 Steps contain within them several of the spiritual disciplines that we recently explored in the Strong Challenge. Prayer, meditation, confession and service are all specifically mentioned. These are all things that, as you engage in the 12 Step program, you begin to do daily and they quickly become part of the fabric of life. Perhaps one of the brilliant stratagems of AA is that "steps" can seem far less intimidating than "disciplines" when trying to get someone else to do something they are already not inclined to do.

The 12 Steps are not easy at times. Because they are spiritual in nature, you never really "finish" them. We as human beings have an endless capacity to muck up our lives again just after we think we've gotten them all cleaned up. But I am extremely grateful to have the spiritual foundation the 12 Steps provided for me, a foundation I can return to every time I need to begin again. Which is pretty much daily.

Leadership Summit Day 1

2011-08-11T20:24:00.001-04:00

Each year at VCC we are a satellite host site for the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit, and today was the first of the two-day event. It may be my favorite event of the year. I am acting as the onsite Producer for the event this year, which means a lot of my time is spent monitoring the technical side of things and keeping up with a live chat feed with the producers at Willow Creek. Nonetheless, I still got to engage somewhat with the conference, and, as is usual for the Summit, today was a little like drinking from a fire hose.

I do think there was one overarching theme I took away from today, and that is, "as a leader, you need to do something." That may sound simplistic, but it is true. You may not know completely the direction you are supposed to be heading in. You may not have the resources in place to complete the task. You may not have a crystal clear vision. You may not be able to delineate every step it is going to take you to get from "here" to "there."

But you can take the first step. And you can head toward the thing you believe God is calling you to accomplish, even if you don't have the entire path mapped out. And you can invest the resources at hand toward reaching your goal and trust God to supply what you lack. If the thing you are trying to accomplish is really from God, it is safe to assume he will provide what you need when you need it.

I used to mentor a young guy who had a tendency to get stuck in ruts. He could never see a way out, and was paralyzed by fear because he couldn't see the entire picture. He didn't know where he thought God was leading him, so he didn't do anything, which only made things worse for him. I used to tell him that the first thing he needed to do was head in some direction, any direction. The analogy I used to use with him was of a ship in a harbor. As long as it was sitting still, all God could do would be to spin it around in circles. But if it got moving, then God could steer it; he could even correct the course if it headed off in the wrong direction. But sitting still, the boat is useless.

Sometimes, I need to heed that advice myself. I can fall into the trap of not taking the next step. At times, I don't take it because I don't fully know where God is leading. But other times, I don't take it because I do know where I believe he is leading but I don't have all the pieces in place to get there. But the result is the same. The solution is the same as well: take the next step. That's all God really ever asks of us. Do what we can, and when we have done what we can, he will do what only he can do.

Gotta have it!....what's it do?

2011-07-15T19:21:00.002-04:00

Vicki and I frequently joke that her dad has a simple mantra when he sees something new: "I've got to have that!!...Now, what does it do?" I have to admit I fall into that same category sometimes. I think my latest "gotta have it" is Google+. I want it bad. I signed up to get an invitation to it, and I eagerly check my inbox daily to see if I have been invited into the exclusive Google+ club that, from what I've recently read, has over 10 million members already.

The thing is, I have no clue why I want it. I've only read the briefest descriptions of what you can do on it. I'm rarely on Facebook anymore, so it's not like I'm enamored with social networking. Maybe I'm hoping that Google+ has all the good aspects of Facebook with none of the things I don't like about it, but in my heart I know that's probably not the case. But it doesn't make a difference. I still want it!...now what's it do??

To Kill a Mockingbird

2011-05-16T09:22:00.004-04:00

I have never read the book or seen the movie To Kill a Mockingbird, but I now know where the sentiment behind it must have come from. There is a mockingbird that lives in the environs of where we are staying here at beautiful Emerald Isle, and it would not surprise me in the least if someone desired for it to meet its demise. We don't have mockingbirds in my native Fairfield, Ohio. And for that, I am now eternally grateful.

From what I can tell, mockingbirds have three salient characteristics. First, they are loud. Obnoxiously loud. There can be a chorus of dozens of birds here on the island, and the mockingbird will stand out among them all like a bad soprano in a church choir. (My apologies if you are a soprano. However, I grew up in the Catholic Church and every parish choir I ever heard had one soprano who knew only one musical dynamic: fortissimo. And they inevitably held the final note of a phrase a beat too long to produce their version of a solo). Second, mockingbirds are persistent. They go on and on and on and on from one ripped-off bird song to the next with barely a breath in between. Their third, and perhaps most disconcerting trait, is they are early risers. This particular one seems determined to wake every other bird (and me) at the ridiculous hour of 5:30am. I am not amused.

Now that I've written this, I should probably add this caveat: I have no intentions of harming said bird. So if it perhaps comes to the end of its earthly journey during the coming week, I promise I had nothing to do with it. Pure coincidence.

Finis!

2011-05-05T19:49:00.004-04:00

I just completed my last undergraduate college assignment. Technically, I still have to attend one more classroom session, but that's not really work; that's just taking up space. But the important stuff is done. No more books to read. No more papers to write. And in just over one week, I will walk across the stage at Cincinnati Christian University, shake the President's hand, and officially be an alumni.

I will also be fulfilling a promise I made to my mom about thirty years ago. I dropped out of college when I was around 22 years old, and I promised her I would go back and finish someday. There was a long period of time when that idea seemed like a fantasy. I think I probably made a lot of promises to both my parents that I never kept and have long since forgotten, but for some reason this was one that I couldn't forget.

But God had some ideas in mind I couldn't foresee, and the most important of those was for me to meet, fall in love with, and marry Vicki Gabriel. If that didn't happen first, I am utterly convinced next Saturday would mean nothing to me other than another day at work. Vicki is the most supportive partner any man could possibly have, and she is largely responsible for it being possible for me to do this. So more than anything, this is in gratitude to her. Thanks, Vicki! You are one amazing woman of God.

A Tale of Two Offices

2011-04-03T22:08:00.000-04:00

Both of these offices are mine. The one on the left is my office at home. It really looks worse than the picture implies. The one below is my work office. It just makes me wonder: how can that be? I think I must suffer from some weird workspace split personality.

Unequal Contributions to Society

2010-10-21T22:27:00.000-04:00

This year my boss, Joe Boyd, published a book and released a movie. Two people on my team, Brad Wise and Isaac Stambaugh, shot a feature-length film and are preparing for another next year. Charlie Hines just got back from Pittsburgh where he performed on live TV for one program and recorded another to be shown later. Me? I've been writing an endless stream of 3-6 page papers full of drivel for college classes. It seems as though I need to do a little better here!

Google's Got Me

2010-09-06T17:16:00.001-04:00

It kind of crept in at first. Like just about everyone else, I've used Google for searching on the internet almost since its beginning. Then I started using Google Calendars because we have some church-wide calendars at work that are on Google, and I found them useful for some of our own departmental needs as well. Admittedly, I've had a few scares when my calendars disappeared for an hour or two at a time, but they've always reappeared eventually, and I've given them the benefit of the doubt. After all, it's very convenient.

Somewhere along the line I started blogging. Using Google Blogger, of course. Next, Vicki and I created a shared Gmail account and began putting some documents online that we both need access to from time to time using Google Docs. Then we decided to finally get rid of our land line phone at home, but we wanted a number we could give out to people that wasn't one of our cell phone numbers. Google Voice came to the rescue. Now I have a personal Google voice number as well. Why? Well, because I can!

Then we took the big step. Android phones. All of this Googly goodness wrapped up in the palm of our hands. Well, not really because we got the Droid X and it's too big to wrap up in the palm of one's hand, but you get the idea. Now when Vicki and I want to chat and not use up texts (we're too cheap for the plan with unlimited texts), we use Google Talk. Because it's there. I'm also beginning to work on a website for sharing Bible resources for a class I'm helping teach in the fall for Vineyard University, using Google Sites (what else would you expect?).

So now I look around and a significant portion of my online life is tied to Google one way or another. And you know what? I'm pretty OK with that. Google is cooler than Microsoft without being as controlling and expensive as Apple. I just hope we don't wake up tomorrow to find out it's been a ginormous hoax all along, that Google really doesn't exist, and that the great Google computing cloud has been blown out to sea, never to be seen again.

Vacation is for blogs

2010-09-05T16:34:00.000-04:00

I love vacation for all the obvious reasons. It's great to avoid working for a week. I love getting to spend extended time with Vicki, including the time we spend driving and the time we have with no particular agenda. I just like hanging out with her. And it's nice to see new sights or revisit favorite places- something we do both of every time we come down here to Emerald Isle.

But I also like vacation because it lets me catch up on some things, like reading my friends' blogs. I have some immensely talented, creative and articulate friends and I love getting time to read their ideas. It's unfortunate that I don't keep up with them as steadily as I would like to. But I keep reminding myself that I'll graduate next May, and then I'll have all the time in the world to read and write only the things I want to read and write about.

I prefer blogs over Facebook and Twitter, although admittedly each has its place and FB and Twitter are easier to keep up with. But a blog gives the writer time to expound upon something- anything- and gives the reader a window into his or her mind. Facebook and Twitter, not so much. Blogs make me think. Sometimes they amuse me, sometimes they enlighten me, sometimes they even can make me change my mind about something. I guarantee a Facebook post will never make me change my mind about anything substantial.

All of this to say, if you're a friend of mine and you blog, keep it up! You're making people think, and there can never be too much thinking in the world. Besides, you're giving me something to do on vacation that doesn't require sunscreen.

Sports

2010-03-29T11:33:00.000-04:00

I got into an interesting conversation on Facebook the other day after I posted an update that said, "Kentucky loses. It's a good day." A friend called me a "hater" because of my happiness at Kentucky's loss. Unfortunately, my reply is too long for Facebook, so I thought I would post it here.

Just so everyone knows, I don't "hate" any school or their athletes. I'll quote from one of my favorite theologians, N.T. Wright. "One of the reasons for the abiding popularity of watching sport is that we know from the start who's who. We emerge from the murky world where we live most of the time into the artificially bright light of a straightforward dualism. We support this lot; that lot are the enemy...That's what we want life to be like. We watch sport because it allows us the luxury of a clear-cut dualism in a world where, for the most part, things aren't that easy." (Following Jesus, p. 85).

In my world, "this lot" that I support includes the Reds, Bengals, Dallas Cowboys, Xavier and Duke (basketball), OSU and Notre Dame (football) and Hendrick Motorsports (NASCAR). "That lot" which are the enemy include the New York Yankees, Pittsburgh Steelers, Washington Redskins, Kentucky (basketball), U. of Michigan (any sport), Roush-Fenway Racing, and pretty much any team from the state of Florida.

I don't even know how some of those teams ever got into one lot or the other, but there they are and there they will remain. I frequently admire teams in "that lot," although I refuse to root for them under any condition, and seeing them lose makes me smile. I've personally hired a rabid Kentucky fan and a Washington Redskins fan. One of my best friends is a Steelers fan. I don't hate any of them, but the teams they support fall into "that lot," and that allows for some good-natured dualistic fun from time to time.

Go Duke.

Who are these people, anyway?

2010-01-31T22:37:00.001-05:00

My class at CCU this term is called, "The Life of Christ." If there's one thing that has impressed me thus far with CCU, it has been the quality of the teachers, and this class has only reinforced my feelings. It's being taught by Tom Thatcher. He's a brilliant guy and a great teacher. And in case you're wondering, he doesn't even know this blog exists, so there's no chance I'm getting any brownie points here.

The reason I bring this up is twofold. First, if you're ever thinking about maybe going to college for biblical studies of one sort or another, I'd highly recommend CCU.

But second (and this is what the title of the post is about), I had to do some research on some of the Jewish folks that were around during Christ's lifetime. People you've probably heard of: Pharisees, Sadducees, scribes, elders, people like that. And I realized during my research that I've been reading about these people for years, but I never really knew a ton about them. Pharisees and Sadducees aren't anywhere to be found in the Old Testament, and then you get to the Gospels and they're everywhere without much explanation of who they are or where they came from. And it's easy to develop a pretty narrow understanding of them based solely on what you might read about them in the Gospels.

So, over the next few days, I hope to put up some posts giving a little background into some of these folks- where they came from, what role they played in the society of Jesus' day, why most of them tended to be in opposition to him. I found it interesting. You might have a different opinion.

The Blogosphere

2009-12-08T20:51:00.002-05:00

I haven't been blogging lately, nor have I been following any of my friends' blogs very closely. I'll blame it on school, because that's pretty much accurate. But I just spent the last half hour or so reading through all of the blogs I usually follow and here's what I realized: the loss is mine. I have a bunch of enormously creative friends. The things they write, and the quirky videos and songs they post make me laugh. And think. But more than anything else, they make me appreciate my friends more.

I get way too wrapped up in school. Like to the point that I think God is getting on my case about it. Maybe I'll talk about that a little more in the near future. For now, I'm lucky because I know no one is reading this anymore!

Do You Tweet?

2009-06-08T15:53:00.005-04:00

OK, so I'm not an early adopter when it comes to technology. And I have some very good friends who abhor Twitter. But after reading the cover article from Time magazine this week, I'm intrigued.

I signed up for Twitter before I read the article, but I haven't done anything with it. Do you use it? If you do, how are you using it and what do you like about it? Have you found any drawbacks? And of course, it you do use it, let me know your user name.

Crackberry

2009-05-05T20:00:00.003-04:00

I've always wondered why they call them that.

Vicki and I both got Blackberry Storms yesterday. Since then, with the exception of the time spent at work today, I think they have been the unwavering focus of our attention. Not because we want them to be, but because they represent endless possibilities. If you can make them work.

Actually, they do work fine, but because they have so much potential it seems to take FOREVER to get them functioning the way you want them to. And because I use a Mac, you have to use some third party software to get it to talk to the computer. At one time today, I had duplicates of almost all my appointments on my Entourage calendar. Then, when I got that fixed, I had lost half of my appointments on the Blackberry and couldn't get them back. Two hours later, I think I've got it straightened out.

Ahhh...feels so good. For about 30 seconds.

Catching Up

2009-04-07T21:12:00.002-04:00

I haven't been blogging much because I've been getting back into the swing of school. Which means getting back in the swing of reading books other people want me to read instead of reading books I want to read. Even though that's annoying, sometimes it's just good to have to look at things from different perspectives.

We have three books assigned to us for this five-week class. One I really liked. The other two I could do without. The one I liked was John Ortberg's "The Life You've always Wanted." I love Ortberg's honesty and humor. The book is subtitled "Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People" and Ortberg presents pretty accessible ways to begin introducing the spiritual disciplines into your journey. For those who may have struggled with Richard Foster's "Celebration of the Disciplines" it's a great alternative.

The two books I disliked are Andy Andrews' "Mastering the Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success" and a book called "Fish!" by Lundin, Paul and Christensen. I'll start with "Fish!" It's a leadership/teamwork business fable along the lines of "The One Minute Manager." I think I've decided I hate the whole genre of leadership fables. Even if the principles behind the fable are good, the storytelling is so bad that you don't remember the principles, you only remember the bad writing. Andrews book, on the other hand, is just too much rah-rah "you can do it!!" for me. And I'm always wary of people who can boil everything down to, "Follow my steps and your life will be GREAT!!"

But overall, I'm enjoying school. Lots of writing, and that's a good challenge for me.

Some good economic news

2009-03-09T11:57:00.003-04:00

It's good to see some positive economic news now and then. The following is from an aricle on the Cincinnati Enquirer website.

"Site Selection magazine has ranked Cincinnati fourth in the country, behind Houston, Dallas and Chicago, in its list of the top metro areas in the U.S. for new and expanded corporate facilities in 2008

The ranking focused on areas with a population of one million or more and was based on data submitted by the Cincinnati USA Partnership, the economic development initiative of the Cincinnati USA Regional Chamber.

This is Cincinnati’s seventh consecutive year on the top 10 list of Site Selection, one of the top trade publications in the corporate real estate and economic development field.

The State of Ohio also fared well in Site Selection’s yearly analysis, winning the 2008 Governor’s Cup Award for the most new and expanded facilities. This is the third year in a row that Ohio has held this position."

Back to School

2009-03-05T19:41:00.002-05:00

Many years ago, I made a series of decisions that I later came to regret. Among the most significant of these decisions was the choice to drop out of college. I had lots of reasons for doing so, including not having a clue about what I really wanted to do with my life. Nonetheless, as the years went on I realized that it was a hasty and ill-informed choice to make.

Some years later I was able to go back to school for a couple of years and earn an Associate Degree in Audio/Video Production. That was a great thing because I finally found a vocation that I really enjoyed and had passion for. And it put me on a weird journey that led to where I am today. But even while I've been incredibly grateful for that education and how God has used that on my journey, I've still had a nagging itch of sorts in the back of my brain that bugs me every now and then for not having finished a four year degree.

But now I have a chance to scratch that itch once and for all. In a few weeks I'll be heading back to school. I'll be enrolling in Cincinnati Christian University to (hopefully) finish a Bachelor of Science degree in Ministry and Leadership. I'll be going to school one night each week for about 4 hours. And providing all my previous credits transfer, I'll be able to finish in two years.

I'm incredibly excited right now. This is one of those things that I always hoped for but never really thought would come about. I'll probably be considerably less excited in six months, but for right now it's a great feeling. I think Vicki's nuts for letting me do it. She's already put up with two years of VLI. But then again, I thought Vicki was nuts for marrying me and I still think she's nuts for staying with me. So since her sanity is already in question I might as well make the most of it.

A Few Random Thoughts

2009-02-05T22:05:00.002-05:00

Is there anyone- ANYONE- in public life that actually pays their taxes? Geez...this is getting ridiculous.

Government won't create the jobs needed to get us out of the economic mess we're in. People will. It will be common people who create not only new jobs but new industries that we don't even know of yet. It will take time, but it will happen. And I love Obama, but the government is not going to fix this.

I watch too many crime shows. But if you're my friend and you ever get arrested, do me a favor: shut up and get a lawyer.

I never cease to be amazed that our volunteer teams on the weekends do a better job technically than a lot of evening news shows that I watch. C'mon...the weather person is on at the same time every night...you should know when to open the microphone!

Madoff is just the latest example of what greed can do to otherwise smart people. How many times in life are we told, "If it sounds too good to be true..."

Even if I wanted to I couldn't get mad at Michael Phelps.

I haven't followed baseball closely in years, but I'm excited that pitchers and catchers report to training camp in a week or so. Maybe that just makes it feel more like spring isn't that far off. It feels like this has been a loonnnggg winter.

The "D" Word

2009-02-03T21:40:00.005-05:00

OK, so after a long time ignoring the obvious, I've decided I have to start paying attention to one thing in my life that I really have no desire at all to pay attention to: my weight. When Vicki and I got back from Gatlinburg, I did the one thing no sane human being should do after a vacation. I stepped on a scale. And it said I weighed 240 lbs. What the?!? I tried it again the next day and it wasn't much kinder...239.

I've tried to diet only once before in my life (and that was when I weighed about 15 pounds less than I do now!). Vicki and I did the South Beach low carb diet for maybe 6 weeks. I lost 15 pounds, but I was miserable. I don't know what it was, but I was ticked off all the time. Apparently carbs are really happy juice in disguise.

Anyway, I started exercising again right away. I actually like exercising, so that's not a problem. The thing is, I know myself pretty well by now. Exercise alone will get rid of the first 5 pounds, and pretty quickly. But then if I don't do anything else to change my eating habits, I'll be stuck. In the past, that hasn't been that big of a deal. But being stuck at 235 isn't going to work. I need to get back down to some realistically healthy weight.

I had gotten on the Spark People website (http://sparkpeople.com) after Dave spoke on the Physical Life as part of the One Life series. So a few days ago I started to use it to figure out what I need to do to lose weight. Apparently, I need to eat less! Well, really it was way more helpful than that. it gave me a target range of calories per day that theoretically over the course of a year will help me reach a target weight of 200 lbs. Secretly, I'd be thrilled if I got back down to 220, but according to the BMI calculator I should be more like 190-200.

So we're counting calories. The Spark People website actually makes it fairly easy, although you have to figure out their website first. It almost has too much information. But once you figure it out, it's really very helpful. It will be interesting to see if it helps me stick with a program this time. At least so far I'm not ticked off!

Perfect timing

2009-01-19T17:26:00.006-05:00

Vicki and I have come to Gatlinburg for a few days of rest and relaxation. On our way here it started to snow around Knoxville, and got heavier the closer we got to here. For whatever reason, Tennessee must be the perfect place for snow. It sticks to the trees and hills and rooftops but (at least for now) not on the streets. Brilliant!!

Just outside of town we found ourselves driving through a winter wonderland. We stopped and got checked into our hotel room and then went back out and drove to the Smoky Mountains National Park. I can't tell you how absolutely, stunningly beautiful it was there. It's funny how the same snow that can make a wreck of the streets of Cincinnati can take on a completely different aura given the right setting. Our waitress at dinner told us it hasn't snowed like this in the two years she's lived here.

We came down here hoping to get a break from the cold weather in Cincy. We didn't get rid of the cold, but we got something much better than we were hoping for. God's got such good timing, don't you think?

New year, new project?

2009-01-05T17:56:00.002-05:00

Vicki and I have been toying around with the idea of remodeling our kitchen for a couple of years now. We have a tiny galley kitchen that's both ugly and inefficient. Because of the way our house is laid out, there's no way to make the kitchen any larger, but we know we can make better use of the space that's there.

The problem is, it's a pretty expensive proposition. And it's made more expensive by the fact that several walls in our kitchen have brick on them that Vicki hates. That means the brick needs to come off the walls which will destroy the plaster behind the brick in the process. So all the plaster needs to come off and be replaced with drywall. And while we're at it we want to replace the flooring and the cabinets and most of the appliances.

So, here's the funny part. We're thinking about doing most of the work ourselves. We went to Ikea today and found a layout that we like that would work in our kitchen- we think. We figure we can do most everything besides hanging and finishing the drywall ourselves. So now I'm just trying to figure out if this is a really good idea and a smart way to save money, or if we've gone completely insane.

Sign that the times are REALLY tough

2008-12-12T18:57:00.002-05:00

I was checking out the headlines on the internet and came across this article on Yahoo's home page about Miley Cyrus's 16th birthday.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/miley-cyrus-gets-moms-old-porsche-for-16th-birthday/16475?nc

Seems that young Miley wanted a new Mercedes for her 16th birthday, but had to settle for her mom's hand-me-down Porsche. Things are obviously even worse than they seem.

Dateline: Waterloo, Iowa

2008-11-27T16:57:00.004-05:00

Vicki and I are in Waterloo, Iowa celebrating Thanksgiving with family. My sister Joanne lives here with her husband Fred. Their daughter Karyn is in town as well, and my oldest sister Carol and her husband Paul also made the trek here from Cincinnati.

Believe it or not, Iowa is really beautiful this time of year. The landscape is a study in browns and ambers and faded greens, textured by leafless trees and dead tall prairie grasses and, of course, miles and miles of harvested corn fields that stretch to the horizon, all capped by a pale blue sky. It's a world that should be captured in pastels. Yet it has the odd effect as you drive through it of making you want to put on camo's, pick up a shotgun and shoot at some birds, even if you've never done such a thing before. In my case, the birds would be completely unthreatened.

It's good to be here. It's good to be with family at Thanksgiving. And it's good to get a little break before we crank into the craziness of Christmas at VCC (although to some extent that's already begun!). I think it's going to be an exciting month ahead and I can't wait to see what God has in store for all of us.

Election Watching

2008-11-04T20:54:00.002-05:00

One of the more telling images I've seen tonight is the difference between Obama's supporters gathered in Chicago and McCain's supporters in Phoenix. I was riding my exercise bike when I saw this, so I couldn't hear what was going on. But there were what appeared to be thousands of Obama supporters yelling and jumping up and down at a park in Chicago. Then they cut to Phoenix where maybe a couple hundred of McCain's supporters were just kind of standing around watching a boy's choir perform. Hmmm...

Election 2008

2008-11-03T20:56:00.002-05:00

Little known fact:

Since 1968, if the Cincinnati Bengals won its last game prior to Election Day, the Democratic contender for the White House also was victorious. If Cincinnati lost its last contest before Election Day, the Democrat also lost. The lone exception came in 1988, when the Bengals defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers on Nov. 6, yet two days later Michael Dukakis lost the election to George H.W. Bush.

We'll see tomorrow if the Bengals go 11-1. Maybe they're just in the wrong business!

Gratitude

2008-10-21T21:59:00.003-04:00

I saw my doctor last week for the first time since my back surgery, and I got some really good news. My back is good, my blood pressure is good and my cholesterol is good. It's been a long time since those three things have been good at the same time.

It got me thinking about how much I really have to be grateful for, and I think I'm more thankful for good health now than I've ever been. When you're younger it's so easy to take good health for granted. I know I did. Last year was scarier for me than I probably let on to. In the back of my mind was always the question "What if this thing with my back doesn't get fixed?" Especially as it got worse, I wondered what I would do if my back never got better. So I'm really grateful that the surgery worked.

And even beyond good health I have a boatload of things to be grateful for that I sometimes take for granted. When I was getting sober years ago, one of the things I was taught in AA was the importance of developing an "attitude of gratitude." I hated that phrase. When my life sucked, as it often did in those days, my AA sponsor would make me write down the things I was thankful for- a "gratitude list." I frequently hated him too. But the thing is, those things worked. They forced me to stop looking at everything negatively and give thanks to my Creator for his blessings.

Life is good for me these days, but I can still fall into the trap of looking at things negatively. I lean towards pessimism by nature. So I find I still need to be intentional about reminding myself of all that God has blessed Vicki and me with. I love this passage from Philippians 4:4-7:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace or anxiety? The choice is mine!

Aaarrrrgggghhh

2008-10-14T20:33:00.004-04:00

Some days I hate owning a home.

We came home today to find water on the floor in our basement. That's never a good sign. We traced the water trail back to our water heater. The good news: it's under warranty. The bad news: we have to empty it and take it to Home Depot to get it exchanged. Even though we had it installed through them, we have to bring it in. No options. The worst news: it's now 8:40 and the thing is still draining. Home Depot closes at 9:00.

So I'm going to have to get up early tomorrow, take a COLD shower, and haul it in before I go to work. If you work with me and you read this before then, don't be surprised if I'm less than chipper in the morning.

Financial Peace

2008-10-13T20:50:00.001-04:00

Vicki and I have been going through Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University.” After just a few weeks of the class it’s already had a significant impact on the way we look at and manage our money. And the things we are learning are really helpful to us regardless of the state of the economy.

Here’s what has surprised me about the current financial crisis: it doesn’t scare me. I’m not happy about it, and I’d much rather live in an up economy, but I’m really not worried about our future. And the real kicker for me is that I’m not trying to not worry, I’m not trying to somehow generate faith, I’m not trying to be “extra faithful” in the hope that God will take care of us.

Here’s what I think I’ve learned. God is more concerned about my character than he is about my financial well being. So if I have issues that need to be addressed regarding where I am putting my faith he’s not going to wait for the economy to tank to help me learn what I need to learn. He can put me in a financially difficult place regardless of what is happening on Wall Street if that’s what he needs to do to get my attention.

Of course that means the opposite is true as well. A bad economy doesn’t mean anything to God, either. He can provide just as easily in a bull market or a bear market, in a recession or a depression or in the crazy tech bubble of the ‘90’s when people seemed to be making money hand over fist every day.

So I really do have financial peace today. Vicki and I (more than likely just like you) have lost quite a bit of money over the past few weeks. So if anything, I have financial peace because I finally learned that my finances really have little or nothing to do with my peace. My peace comes from allowing God to have his way with me as best as I can. And money has nothing to do with that unless I let it become my master in God’s rightful place. And if that happens, God’s going to make me as uncomfortable and un-peaceful as he needs to regardless of the economic conditions until I once again allow him to have his rightful place as master in my life.

Florida Redux

2008-10-03T19:23:00.002-04:00

This is our last day in Florida, so it’s my last chance to write from our balcony overlooking the Atlantic. It’s been a nice week even if nothing phenomenal really happened. Seeing the Kennedy Space Center was a lot of fun, but in general it’s just been very relaxing. I did get some reading done. I had started on a book by Erwin McManus called “Chasing Daylight” on our last vacation that I really like. I was able to skim back over the parts I had read and while I still haven’t finished it yet, it shouldn’t take too much time to get through the rest of it when I get back home.

It seems like every time I take a vacation I start out thinking that whatever the definition of Paradise is, it includes at least in part concepts of not working and living on (or at least very near) a beach. But more often than not by the end of a vacation I’m ready to go back to work, and this time is no exception. A few hours ago, I wasn’t ready, but now I am and I’m not even sure why.

I do know one thing for sure, and that’s that I’m blessed to get to do what I do on multiple levels. On the macro level I get to use what God has blessed me with towards the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) every day. You can certainly do that without working for a church, but it’s perhaps more pronounced at a place like the Vineyard. On the micro level, I get to do it with a fantastic group of people, both staff and volunteers.

But the coolest thing for me is getting to do what I do with Vicki. I’m incredibly blessed to be able to spend my vacations with her AND do ministry with her. I don’t think it gets any better than being able to go through life with someone who you really share a purpose and a mission with. And I happen to like her a lot, too…what a deal!

$700 Billion

2008-09-30T20:18:00.001-04:00

OK, so $700 billion is too much for me to get my head around. As a result, I've had a hard time deciding where to land on the whole bailout issue. Until tonight, when Lou Dobbs talked some sense into me on the news. His point is, basically, if you want to fix the problem, don't try to do it by giving lots of money to the people who screwed things up in the first place. And don't listen to a President with the second worst approval rating and a Congress with the absolute worst approval rating in history.

I'm with Lou. You can read (or see) his comments on CNN's website (www.cnn.com).

Florida

2008-09-29T20:19:00.003-04:00

In Ormond Beach, Florida for the week. I’m writing while sitting on our balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. If there are any drawbacks to being here, this in itself makes it all worthwhile. We're here at a timeshare with Vicki's mom Bev and her husband Frank. Frank is standing just maybe twenty feet away on his balcony smoking his pipe. Every now and then I get a whiff of it. Kind of reminds me of being around my dad when I was a kid.

My dad was a sailor in WWII and I sometimes wonder if I inherited some of his love for the sea. If my understanding is right, he came very close to making a decision to make a career out of the Navy. But he was older when America entered the war- in his late 20’s- and in his early 30’s when it ended. So maybe the Navy had no interest in him at that age, or perhaps he loved my mom more than the Navy. I don’t really know. Regardless of the reason, he left the Navy, returned to his native Cincinnati and married my mom and eventually started our family.

Whether or not it comes from my dad, I love being near the ocean. I have a spiritual connection with it that I really can't explain. All I know is when I'm around it, I feel closer to God. I completely understand why water is used metaphorically in the spiritual writings of every culture and every major religious tradition. And more often than not, I come back from it in a pretty good place mentally and spiritually. I'm hoping for the same result this time around!

Powerless

2008-09-15T20:55:00.004-04:00

We just regained electricity at our house after 30 hours. I had no idea how spoiled I am- I almost get depressed going a day without power. And this was really nothing. For one thing, power was still available just a few blocks away if I really needed it. But more importantly, we hadn't lost anything: our house wasn't damaged and our health and safety were never even remotely threatened. It makes me wonder what I would do if we had a serious emergency.

I've never been one to worry much about disasters. I think you can get really weird about that kind of thing. But that's no excuse for not being smart and not preparing for what is likely to happen. I think you can compare it to some of the things Dave Ramsey says about money and the need to be prepared for financial troubles. His point is troubles will come, so they shouldn't be a surprise. The same could be said of emergencies like what happened this weekend. So really I should be better prepared.

Vicki and I were talking about the fact that it's not really all that difficult to do without electricity for a day or two. People do it all the time. It's just a lot easier if you know when you're going to have to do it. So here's what I think we should do: once a month, we should have to go a day without it. Think about how good it would be for our environment. And think about how much money we could save. I think it could work.

The Cross

2008-09-01T18:39:00.004-04:00

Every now and then I'll read or hear something that just seems to literally overwhelm my thinking for a few days. Joe's message this weekend had that kind of impact on me. If you weren't there, you can check out his message at the link below:

https://www.vineyardcincinnati.com/lastweek.php
(It may not be up until Wednesday due to the holiday)

Joe was speaking on Simplicity to end our "Awe" series. Towards the end of his message, he focused beautifully on the simplicity of the central message of Christianity: that God loves the world so much that he sent his Son to die for us and to rise again to fix the otherwise irreparable tear in our relationship with him brought about by our sin and rebellion.

It's been a long time since I've thought about the cross as much as Joe's message has led me to these last couple of days. I was brought up Catholic, and in the Catholic church crucifixes almost always had Jesus on them. There were times when I would be bored with mass and I would just stare at the cross with Jesus on it and try to figure out what it all meant. I knew I was a sinner, I knew I did wrong and even that I did wrong intentionally, and in doing so I knew I violated what I was taught God's rules were. But the fact that God was so offended by my fairly petty misdeeds that someone had to die for them seemed to me to point to a rather thin-skinned deity. After all, if I could get over a friend lying to me in a week or so and be his friend again, I thought God should certainly be able to do the same.

Of course, I was missing the point completely on multiple levels. I certainly hope I have a better understanding now than I had then of God, of the real and devastating impact of sin on my relationship with him (and on every relationship in my life), of concepts like salvation, redemption and atonement, and of God's tremendous and relentless love of humanity. But none of that knowledge can take the place of the need to reflect on the cross and consider what it really means to me today.

As an adult I think the biggest challenge is that the cross can begin to be relegated to the status of an historic event like D-Day or Lincoln's assassination, something that certainly helped shape the world I live in but has only indirect and unconscious impact on how I live today. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth. If anything about Christianity is true, if it has any power at all to bring healing to broken lives and hope to a helplessly messed up world, then the cross is and must be as relevant to my life today as it was the day it happened.

So that's where I've been the last couple of days- just thinking about the cross. What impact do I allow it to have on me daily? What kind of effect should it have on me? I don't have all the answers yet. I suspect I never will. But it's well worth considering.

Insanity

2008-08-19T19:35:00.002-04:00

I don't talk about sports all that often but the Bengals drove me nuts today. They re-signed Chris Henry. Huh?!?

In recovery circles there's a saying: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think Mike Brown has officially entered the loony bin.

I don't wanna...

2008-08-13T20:04:00.004-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while. And it's really because I haven't felt like blogging in a while. But I've been feeling guilty about not doing it.

Vicki reminded me tonight that I haven't been blogging. And then she gave me some ideas about things I could write about. And it got me to thinking about how I don't want to write about things someone else wants me to write about. And that got me thinking about creativity in general, and work as well.

I do best when I own what I'm doing. I write best when I have something I think is worth talking about, even if it's silly. And I work best when the work I'm doing is something I'm really engaged with and want to do well at, even if it might seem silly to other people. Conversely, it's a struggle for me to have to write about things I'm told I have to write about or work at things I'm told I have to do when I don't want to, regardless of their apparent value to others.

At the same time, it doesn't mean the idea has to be mine to start with. For example, there are times when someone comes to me with an idea at work that I immediately "own", even though it's not mine.

So I wonder if there is a way to want to own those things that come my way that I really don't want to do. Basic maturity will compel you to get things done; we all have things we do just because they're part of our job and we're responsible for getting them done. But I know I will consistently do a much better job when I'm doing the things I own, the things I want to do.

The flip side of the coin is that I'm in a leadership and supervisory position, and I often have to assign work. My guess is that everyone else is pretty much the same as me: they do well at the things they own (regardless of whether the idea is theirs or is given to them), and not so well at what they don't own. So how can I help others to feel a greater sense of ownership about what they are doing as well? Really that's at the heart of leadership, but sometimes I forget that and just figure they want to do the same things I want them to do. It would be a huge understatement to say that's a miss.

So what's the answer? I have some ideas, but I think I'll leave them for another night. Besides, now I have something I want to write about.

Facebook

2008-07-30T18:19:00.006-04:00

I've got to admit I don't get Facebook. I've been on it for maybe a couple of months now, and I just don't see the draw. I've heard stories of people whose entire social life is driven by it, but for me it's a big day if I spend more than 5 minutes on it. I'm a little worried that it just means I'm becoming an old fogey, and in a sense I know that's true, but at another level I really don't care: I think Facebook is overrated.

On another topic, if you'd like to see pictures from our vacation, go here:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbsnDRo1aNGMx&emid=sharshar&linkid=link5

I know I'm biased, but I think Vicki takes great pictures!

Career change?

2008-07-23T14:24:00.005-04:00

And you thought there was only one use for buoys. Buoy, were you wrong! Apparently they make nifty porch ornaments as well. And believe it or not you can apparently make a living selling the aforementioned accoutrements.

Upon closer inspection, Vicki and I found out these things aren't even real buoys. Who'd a thunk that? They're just styrofoam balls cleverly painted to look like buoys and strung together on a rope. Now really, how hard can that be? Especially given the fact that most genuine buoys I've seen are hardly little Picassos artfully disguised. Now all I have to figure out is how many bogus buoys I need to sell in a summer to afford the mortgage on a million dollar seafront estate. I've heard it's a buyer's market. If the math works out...

Beaufort, NC

2008-07-21T14:21:00.003-04:00

Sitting in Taylor's Big Mug coffee shop on vacation in Beaufort, NC. This is the first place we've been with internet since we left home on Friday. The withdrawal has been intense.

Beaufort is best known for being the home of Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard the Pirate. The house he lived in is just a few blocks from where we are right now. Legend has it he hung one of his wives from a tree that's still in the front yard. Charming, I know.

It's a beautiful day here. Sunny skies and the high is supposed to reach 95º. Perfect vacation weather. Actually, Vicki would disagree with that statement- it's about 20º too hot for her, but that's why God made air conditioned coffee shops with free internet access.

Katie Reider

2008-07-14T14:57:00.003-04:00

Katie passed away this morning just before 7:00am. Our hearts ache for Rob, Karen and the kids, and the entire Reider family.

A few years ago Rob invited Vicki and me to a live radio concert at WVXU featuring Katie and her band. It was one of the most enjoyable evenings I've ever had. Katie was so fun to see perform, so engaging with the audience and just genuine. And, of course, immensely talented. But she always remained one of the friendliest and most gracious people I've known. After she moved away from Cincinnati, I was always surprised that every time she came back to visit and came to the Vineyard she would stop by the audio booth just to say hi.

We're lucky that Katie's music will remain with us forever. But she will be missed incredibly by those who knew her.

Things that sting

2008-07-09T21:05:00.004-04:00

For the first time in what seems like a really long time, Vicki and I have had a chance to do some things together in the evenings. Tonight we were working in the yard. We've had problems with carpenter bees on and off for years. I don't know if you've ever been around them or not, but they're big and scary looking and I'm dead certain they were NOT part of God's original plan for creation. They dig holes into wood to live in, and in our case that means they dig into a fascia of sorts just under the roof line of our solarium. The only way I've been able to control them (I've failed at trying to eliminate them) is to occasionally climb up on a ladder and plug their holes while they're sleeping. I don't know what happens to them after that, but they don't seem to be able to dig their way back out.

I don't think carpenter bees have stingers, but I've never gotten close enough to one to find out for sure. But while I was up dealing with the carpenter bees, I happened to notice two wasp nests just under the peak of the roof. I kind of thought they were maybe old nests that weren't active, but I decided to be careful. Good choice on my part. When I knocked the first one off, angry wasps went everywhere. Luckily they mostly flew up rather than down at me, so I had time to escape before they figured out who was responsible for disrupting their hitherto happy home.

In general I really dislike anything that can sting me or looks like it can. My friends Greg and Cindy Dean actually keep bees. On purpose. It makes no sense to me.

Goin' to the Brickyard

2008-07-01T18:16:00.003-04:00

Thanks to our good friends Fred and Rhonda Maess, Vicki and I are going to the Brickyard 400 at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in a few weeks. Woohoo! This will be our second NASCAR race- we went to Charlotte last year to see the fall race at Lowe's Motor Speedway. It was a great time, in spite of my bad back at the time, and my boy Jeff Gordon won the race. Perhaps lightning will strike twice: he's won the Brickyard 400 four times.

This race has some special meaning to me because it was the initial Brickyard 400 that turned me into a Jeff Gordon fan in the first place. I was a pretty casual NASCAR follower until then, but I watched that race because it was a big deal for stock cars to be racing at the hollowed home of the Indy 500. Everyone wanted to win that race, especially all the good ole' boys of NASCAR of the time like Dale Earnhardt Sr., Bill Elliot, Darrell Waltrip and Rusty Wallace. Instead, this 24 year old kid (a ridiculously young age to break into NASCAR at the time, much less start winning) who could speak English without a drawl won. I was hooked. And it ends up I picked a pretty good driver to follow as well.

Finis!

2008-06-26T20:28:00.002-04:00

I'm done. I took my last VLI final exam tonight and I have completed the program. Woohoo!

What's it get me? Uhh...nothing. Only the personal sense of accomplishment of having completed two years' worth of college-level theology and leadership courses, I don't get a thing. But it does help me feel better prepared to do my job. I never really meant to be a pastor, so I didn't go about studying to be one. At least not until now.

One thing it made me realize is that I really do like academia. I always did pretty well in school. I liked the competition of it on strictly a performance level, trying to figure out what it was that would get you a good grade from different teachers, things like that. And I still like those things, but as I've gotten older I realize I like the pure learning and discovery part of it as well. So someday it would be nice to continue on and get a real degree. And maybe teach. But for now I just get to sit back and bask in the glory of getting....uhhh.....nothing!

Iowa Floods

2008-06-14T22:08:00.005-04:00

Last night I talked with my sister who lives in Waterloo, Iowa. Waterloo is about 45 miles northwest of Cedar Rapids, where some of the heaviest flooding in Iowa has occurred, and the Cedar River passes through both cities. All of the pictures here are from the Cedar Rapids area. Waterloo has had some flooding as well- enough to close down all four bridges in the city that cross the river at one time, and seriously damage one of the bridges. But luckily they've had nothing that compares to Cedar Rapids. My sister and brother-in-law already know four people who have lost their homes to the floods.

From what I've been reading and have heard the flooding is expected to reach "500 year" levels, and that the damage could rival Katrina. Be praying for the folks in Iowa if you have a chance.

Plumbing Genius

2008-06-13T22:15:00.002-04:00

OK, so some things are worth the wait. We finally got a second plumber to come out to our house to check out our kitchen drain problem. The first guy who came out quoted us between $2500 and $3200. He told us he was going to have to cut our countertop, take out the sink and open up the wall to remove the old pipe and install new PVC in its place. It might take two days of work total. My newest best friend Keith from D.J. Hughes plumbing comes today and says, "I'll just leave the old pipe in the wall, cut a new hole and drop in the new PVC pipe alongside it." Estimated total cost= $585. Brilliant!

Whazzup with plumbers?

2008-06-11T19:28:00.005-04:00

Our kitchen sink backed up a week ago Sunday. After trying the usual Liquid Plumber and, when that didn't work, an actual plunger it became obvious that our problem was more serious than just the usual clogged drain. So I got underneath the sink and disconnected the j trap and let everything drain out. The j trap was clear so the problem was obviously in the galvanized pipe that the PVC j trap connected to. I tried to clean out the galvanized pipe with a snake, but that didn't work either. So I had to take off an elbow at the end of the galvanized pipe to see if that would give me a straighter shot with the snake.

I got the elbow off and, man, what a mess. The galvanized pipe was completely full of disgusting, vile, black stuff. I mean I was amazed that the drain had worked at all because this stuff had to build up for years. I cleaned some of it out before realizing I had a bigger problem. The galvanized pipe was corroded, and the end where the elbow had screwed on was completely disintegrated. So I had reached the end of my plumbing ability.

We called two plumbers the next day who had been recommended by friends. One of them called back to say he didn't do "that kind of work" (I'm not sure what kind of work a plumber does besides plumbing) and referred us to the other guy we had already called. So we called him again. He never called back. We called another plumber. Again, no call back. Ever. Vicki's boss recommended a plumber, and we called him. He was out to take a look at our problem the next day, but the price was high enough that we wanted a second opinion.

So we called another plumber. I picked this one because his advertisement said they answer the phone. That actually seems to be a novel idea in the plumbing business. Someone did answer the phone. This was on Friday and they told me they would have someone come out Monday. By mid-Monday no one had called to say they would be out so I called them back. A different person answered this time and said she would get right back to me. By the end of the day, we hadn't heard back from them. So I called again yesterday and they said they would have someone get in touch with us first thing today. Do you want to guess what happened? Nothing. No call.

So out of five or six plumbers we've contacted only one has even come close to panning out. That's a pretty poor performance rate for a group in the service sector. So does anyone know a good plumber? Are they out there? Do they really exist? I feel like I'd have better luck tracking down Sasquatch.

Steak and Potatoes

2008-06-08T22:12:00.002-04:00

Our small group went to Fred and Rhonda Maess' home tonight for a cookout. For those of you who don't know Fred, he's a great guy who spent a lot of his adult life in the restaurant business (although now he manages a fleet of trucks- go figure!). He's an excellent cook. And he grills some of the best steaks I've ever had. Melt-in-your-mouth good. So we had steak and potatoes, fresh asparagus, sauteed mushrooms and onions, salad and dessert. Several hours later I'm still full. Vicki will tell you how rare that is.

I had my last VLI weekend intensive today. The intensives are held on two weekends each quarter and go on Saturday from 9:30 to about 3:00 or 4:00 and Sunday from 1:30 or so until as late as 6:00. I missed Saturday's portion (I let too many people on my team off for the weekend so I needed to be there). But today's session was pretty good. It was on 1 and 2 Peter and Jude. I have a new appreciation for those books. One more regular class and a final exam and I will be completely finished with VLI. Then it will be my goal to post more often here. My buddy Brad Wise has already threatened to stop linking to me because I don't post enough. I'm in danger of becoming a cyberspace loser.

Ocean Sick

2008-05-12T20:05:00.004-04:00

I'm ocean sick I think. I don't mean like sea sick, but more like home sick but only for the ocean. Vicki and I almost always take a trip to North Carolina this time of the year. Her grandmother lives in Emerald Isle, a little city on the southernmost part of the Outer Banks. So we just ˆhaveˆ to go visit her at least once a year. It's a tough job.

But this year we weren't able to pull off a May trip, mostly because of work stuff. So we're stuck here, ocean sick. I'm surprised by how much I miss being there. I see God differently when I'm there. He's bigger. And I always come back happier for being reminded of that.

My how time flies

2008-04-27T17:38:00.002-04:00

Yes, I committed the cardinal sin of blogging, like not doing it. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but I continually forget. But now I have a shiny new MacBook Pro for work, and it seems like if you have a Mac you really should be blogging. And doing miscellaneous other creative things, like using iMovie to change the world. But that would require buying a camera.

I've officially started my last term of VLI. That's Vineyard Leadership Institute for the uninitiated. It's an almost two year college level leadership development and theology class that has eaten up most of my free time since the fall of 2006. I've learned a lot and have had a lot of fun along the way as well, but I'm really glad it's about over. I would recommend it to anyone, but beware- it will eat up your life.

Surgery and prayer

2008-02-06T20:36:00.000-05:00

Well, we made it through surgery and all is well. They had me up and walking within a couple of hours of the operation and I was completely free of the pain and numbness that I've been dealing with for the last nine months or so. I can't tell you how good it feels to walk again.

Of course I'm still restricted in what I can do for now. I'm not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds and I can't bend at the waist while standing for the first week. You'd be amazed at how much bending you normally do in a day. Just like anything else, I'm so unaware of what I have until it gets taken from me. I think I'm so abundantly blessed that I don't have a clue of the scope of God's favor and generosity until something like this happens.

Another thing I've been made aware of is the power of prayer. When I've been asked to pray for something someone else is going through, I think in the back of my mind I've always minimized the importance of those prayers, as if they really had no significance. But it's a completely different world when you're on the receiving end. I deeply appreciate every prayer that anyone has offered for me. It's been as if I could feel them. I'll never say another prayer for someone else in the future without knowing it can make a difference.

Paul, the Call and the Calendar

2008-02-02T17:35:00.000-05:00

This term in VLI (Vineyard Leadership Institute, a two-year college level study in theologhy and leadership) we're studying the writings of the apostle Paul. As a result, I've had to read all of Paul's letters in a short time period and I'm getting a ton of background information about both Paul and the culture of the times in which he lived.

One of the things that makes reading the Bible at any level difficult is that ancient writers had a different style of writing than we have today, and as a result they leave out things that we would think are very important. One of the things they tend to leave out is dates (not to mention that they sometimes don't write in chronological order, either!). So sometimes it's really hard to figure out what the timeline is of the story that is being told.

There's a pretty good example of this surrounding Paul's story in the book of Acts. Paul's famous encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus occurs in chapter 9. Immediately after that, Paul begins preaching around Damascus that Jesus is the Son of God, but nobody trusts him. In case you're wondering why not, he was attempting to imprison and kill the followers of Jesus just a couple of paragraphs earler. In any case, as a result of Paul's conversion the tables are turned and certain Jews in Damascus decide they want to kill Paul. Even though they don't trust him yet, his new "Christian" buddies (they weren't really called Christians yet) get him out of town safely and send him to Jerusalem from whence he is sent back to his hometown of Tarsus.

Now, here's where the timing gets tricky. It only says next that the fledgling church "enjoyed a time of peace" and "it grew in numbers." The next thing we know the story turns to Peter and recounts two significant stories that center around him before returning to Paul at the end of chapter 11. Still in Tarsus, Paul is sought out by Barnabas who wants his help in pastoring a new church in Antioch, which is not all that far from Taursus.

So, two chapters, a couple of stories about Peter...how much time has elapsed? I think in my head, the answer was always, "A few months, maybe." Do you want to know the real answer? About 10 years!!

Now why is this important to me? Well for one, I always had the impression Paul encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus, heard Jesus' calling for him to "carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings" and- boom!- sent him on his way. Two out of three ain't bad I guess. The first two things are true- he encountered Jesus and through another disciple named Ananias heard his calling from Jesus. But then there's this 10 year gap.

Now we don't have any idea what Paul was doing during those 10 years, but my guess is at times he must have questioned what happened at Damascus. Did he really hear from God? Is He really going to use him to carry the gospel to the Gentiles? Even if Paul spent a lot of that decade honing his preaching skills and carrying the gospel as best he could to non-believers in Tarsus, don't you think that would have appeared to Paul to be a dismal disappointment compared to his grand calling to carry the gospel to the Gentiles "and their kings"?

We see this kind of story repeated throughout the Bible. Abraham, Moses and David all experienced this kind of "delayed fulfillment" of God's purpose for them. But God uses that time to develop character, to develop skills, to develop obedience, to develop relationship with him. He hasn't fogotten us. Steve Robbins, the primary teacher of VLI puts it this way: differentiate the call from the calendar. In other words, God's will for me is not dependent on my timing.

That's important to me. There are things I believe God has called me to do that haven't happened yet. Maybe there are for you, too. If so, at least it's good to know he's not done with us yet!

Surgery

2008-02-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

I'm scheduled for surgery on my back on Monday at 11:00am. They are going to go in and clean out the ruptured disc material and hopefully be able to re-create a nice passageway for the nerve that's being pinched. It seems like a big deal to me, but it's actually outpatient surgery. That still blows me away. If all goes well, I'll be home by dinner time.

After the surgery, I'll more than likely be off an additional four weeks. For the first two weeks I won't be allowed to do much at all. After that I'll start doing physical therapy and will be able to drive again. At the end of four weeks I should be able to return to work doing a half-schedule for a couple of weeks and then be able to return full time. So if the timetable holds true, I'll be back to work full time the week of Easter. How's that for timing?!?

I've been able to do some work from home over the past couple of weeks, so I've been able to conserve at least some of my extended illness benefits. My VLI classes resumed two weeks ago and since all I have to do during class is sit and listen to a lecture I've been able to go in for those. I'll miss class this coming Thursday for sure and possibly the next week as well.

More than anything else, though, I'm just really looking forward to getting on the recovery side of this thing. I have been more than covered in prayer, so I'm not really nervous about the surgery. I'm sure it's going to go well as will my recovery. I'm just very ready to be able to walk again for more than a few feet at a time or stand again for more than a couple of minutes at a time.

If you are reading this and you are one of those who have been praying for me, thank you so much!! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your prayers and I'm very much at peace going into this thanks to you.

Super Bowl

2008-01-21T13:07:00.000-05:00

I can't imagine having a Super Bowl that I would care any less about than having teams from New York and Boston playing. Yuck!

Back Saga

2008-01-15T08:45:00.000-05:00

I am currently on leave from work with a bad back. It sucks having a bad back and it sucks being on leave from work. I don't mind not working if I'm on vacation, but right now I'm kind of in limbo until I find out the next steps. I meet with a surgeon next Tuesday, Dr. Thomas Saul of the Mayfield Clinic. I'm looking forward to meeting him. But until then I'm stuck here burning up the sick days I've accrued.

My back problems started in late April of last year. Actually, they started long before then, but this particular instance started then and I'll spare you the details leading up to that. I was already seeing a chiropractor when things flared up. This had happened several times in the past, so I was relatively certain the problem would go away more or less on its own.

When it didn't I started bumping up the frequency of my visits to the chiropractor to try to get relief. When that didn't help, I looked for and found a different chiropractor who I had gone to years ago and who had been very helpful to me. I started seeing her 2-3 times a week, but still with no real results. I'd be OK one day and bad the next two.

Finally I made a call to my family doc (my high school buddy Mark Schrand) who had me go in for an MRI. I've had one MRI in the past and I absolutely hated doing it, but the pain was enough that I was willing to do it again. It showed a bulging disc and Mark suggested I do a series of up to three epidural steroid injections to try to bring down the swelling. We ended updoing all three injections over a period that stretched from September to November. The shots had to be spaced 6 weeks apart. During that time, I didn't get any worse, but I didn't get significantly better either.

When the last shot didn't improve things, Mark had me try physical therapy. It too helped a little for a while. Actually, at first I thought we were finally on the right track. But then after a few weeks, things started getting worse again and I lost the progress I had made early on.

Things really took a turn for the worse the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Until then I was in pain but I was still able to get around. I would wake up kind of bent to the left, but as the day progressed I would get better and be able to straighten myself up. Then over a few days' time that all stopped. By the end of the week, I could no longer straighten up at all and the pain had gone through the roof. Even walking a few dozen feet became unmanageable.

I was able to get in to see my family doc on New Year's Eve. He upped my pain medication from Vicodin to Percocet and referred me to a physiatrist (Dr. Wunder) who specializes in lower back pain. Originally, Dr. Wunder wasn't going to be able to see me until early March, but Mark called his nurse and was able to get me in to see him last Thursday (January 10th). By then I was already unable to work. I wasn't able to make it in the weekend prior at all. I did make it in for a couple of meetings in the week leading up to the appointment with Dr. Wunder, but that's been it.

When Dr. Wunder saw me, he didn't spend much time with me before he said something to the effect of, "You need help. You've done everything we would expect of you from a therapy standpoint. Nothing has worked, and you're getting worse." So he referred me to Dr. Saul.

So that pretty much takes us to today and now you pretty much know the story of my back saga. I'm sure there will be more to come in the days ahead, but right now I'm just trying to stay off my feet as much as possible until I see Dr. Saul.